Men’s healing is as crucial to gender and racial equality as women’s. In my opinion, creating safe spaces for men to do the inner work and self-care necessary to accomplish that has to be a core tenant of sustainable, effective, intersectional feminism.
I just got dumped. Two days before Valentine's Day. By a guy that I really like. Over the phone. Because he doesn't believe he can have a great woman and a great career at the same time.
I wish being a self-care expert gave me a get-of-jail-free card when it comes to experiencing heartbreak. Alas, mon ami, it does not.
Quite the contrary actually. One of the main self-care ingredients is self-compassion. And self-compassion requires cultivating intimacy and respect for my emotions.
I'm in pain. And that's okay. My sadness and anger are telling me that: I really care about this human; I wanted it to work out; I did my best and brightest to grow something special with someone special. Most importantly, they are telling me that I did what I do best: I loved.
I honor my beautiful, giant, outrageously magical, broken heart.
And with Valentine's Day tomorrow, I thought I'd cheer myself up by posting some beautiful pictures of gorgeous souls and share my Valentine's Day Heartbreak Percocet. It's called Galentines Day!
Earlier this month, before this guy dumped me, my sweet soul sister, Emilee invited me to be a part of her annual Galentines Day Fiesta. I got to meet the incredible Ladies of Galentines: Corey, Ahren, and Adri. They are funny, brilliant, talented, loving, kind women whose generosity of spirit continues to warm my heart, weeks later, as I hold this hurt. So please bear with me as I sing their praises and express my gratitude as I offer a little Galentines Day How-To.
Corey is a rockstar food blogger who is funny af and just so dearly kind. She got us hooked up with scrumptuous goodies from Sorella Collective and My Delight Bakery. We had unicorn cupcakes. I didn't know those existed. I'm so glad that they do. You can learn all about them on Corey's Galentines Day Blog!
Ahren is a teacher and a light in this world. Her hugs could create world peace if we could figure out how to clone her.
Adri is an insanely talented photographer who took all of these photos showcased in this blog. More than that, she is a gorgeous soul.
My contribution to Galentines was a simple meditation and my simplest, most powerful, most fun medicine for heart trouble: self-love letter.
What is a self-love letter? It's a hand-written note that tells you why it is so dang awesome to be you. It looks a little something like this:
You are spectacular. Your ability to see the glue in the invisible spaces between thoughts, projects, emotions, and people is deep magic. It's like you can see the gaps that make people feel broken, but you also see that they're actually just inches away from connecting the dots and adhering another piece of life's puzzle into sacred spaces inside their souls. You are in fact a witch, the very best kind. Your magic is your gift to this world. Your great privilege is to hold the boundaries while people piece their lives together in new and interesting and beautiful ways.
What an extraordinary honor it is to be your thinking mind and feeling body. I love you!
Whether you're in a relationship, single, or going through heartache with someone you love, I highly recommend celebrating Galentines Day. We put together a Galentines Day How-To Guide to help you out and it includes a template for a self-love letter in case you want to write one too!
Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you don't get dumped over the phone. But even if you do, know that you are loved. And know that your worthy heart is still as worthy and wonderful as ever. I promise.
I am on a high! My friend Danielle just launched a brilliant brand, called She's Fun! It's all about women sharing their LOLs, heartbreaks, and real lives in digital and physical community.
Her launch part today at Unita in El Segundo was a HUGE success. There were over 70 women who came out to support She's Fun and each other. I could not be more inspired by Danielle or the boss babes I met today.
I had the real privilege of speaking to them about self-care and my personal story. I'm still floating from the experience. My sweet new friend Lisa was kind enough to record it on my phone for me and I wanted to share some of the highlights with you!
I hope you enjoy!
We'll start with my favorite breathing technique! It's easy and it helps you calm down in nearly no-time flat!
After I opened with a breathing exercise and intention, we got to talking about what self-care really is. It turns out, most of the talk about self-care in the media, including some of my favorite topics (wine and yoga), are really just self-care band-aids. They don't tackle our burnout and exhaustion at the root cause. Check it out!
Okay, we all know my favorite topic is moi! So here's when I got to tell my story. I know self-care and burnout, because I basically wrote the book on them in my twenties!
Next up, we talked about how to self-care like a B.O.S.S. B stands for boundaries. O stands for ownership. S stands for support. Other S stands for self-compassion.
Before we took some Q&A I led us through a closing blessing and I mentioned the G word. That's right, I blessed a group full of strangers in the name of God. (Huge shout out to Julia Cameron whose prayer it was that I actually read!).
Finally, we wrapped up withe some Q&A!
It was SO MUCH FUN! Thank you again for having me Danielle!